My family tree isn't a chart drawn on paper connecting generations of my family members. My family tree doesn't connect my ancestors with me, my siblings, and my cousins through lines. It is an actual tree, a living and breathing tree. A neem tree standing for generations in the backyard of my ancestral home. This tree connects us heart-to-heart not point-to-point on paper.

All of us have seen this tree since our birth. I don't know the exact age of this tree but it is very old. Older than anyone alive. Even my grandfather had seen that tree as a fully grown-up tree. The people from my father's generation also have many stories centred around this tree.

The growth of the tree isn't visible. It isn't expanding in its shape and size. It sheds its leaves in fall, and new leaves appear in spring. Dark green leaves turn yellow then it falls off the tree in the fall. The tree stands barren for some days.

Fallen leaves become the manure for their roots. Then as the spring arrives, red leaves come out on tiny branches. The branches soon grow and leaves become maroon, then light green in colour. As time passes light green leaves turn out to be fully grown dark green leaves.

This disciplined routine is repeated every year. The tree is fully refreshed every year, year after year. Possibly, that's the reason it can live so long, longer than anyone of us. Repeated refresh is, probably, the key to long life.

As I was growing up, I was the kind of kid who has regular problems with everyone. I always had something or someone to complain about. One of my uncles had then suggested to me, 'whenever you feel like complaining about someone, go and say that to this neem tree.'

He told me, that we as a family are primarily integrated because of many of the complaints each one of us has vented out in front of this tree, instead of someone else's face.

My uncle had also explained that the neem tree is bitter because it takes all bitterness away from us. I know it isn't a scientifically correct explanation. Still, the beauty of this idea is, that it then used to work miraculously for me in venting out my anger. It works till now.

Whenever I am under stress and get to meet that tree, I share everything with it. Eventually, I have learned to share not only my sorrows but my happiness as well. Whatever I have to share something, anything, to that tree, it always listens, intently, without getting distracted.

That neem tree has remained, is, and will be our Family Tree which has seen and heard the journey of our family.