“Call me before you go to sleep so I can hear your voice” is what he would say to me for months, getting every last piece of me to his memory before he drifted off to sleep. “You looked beautiful today” is the phrase I would get when I would call him on the phone after we had gotten home from school or when we lay in bed together after a long day.
“Please, don’t go” was the most common saying I’d get from him. He had started to miss me even before I was gone.

And I often wonder why I ever let someone as beautiful as him go, how I managed to wake up one day and decide I no longer loved him. I loved him more than I loved myself at times, which is a foolish thing to do, but we were young and our minds dreamt of forever. He loved me and I loved him. I still do. But I knew I had to let him go and although it tore him apart at first, it’s eating me alive now seeing him kiss another girl before my very eyes.

His eyes still show that he misses me, but that I hurt him and he is still trying to move on. It’s a funny thing- your first love makes you think that they will be your only one, but all hopeless romantics know that isn’t the case.
Maybe that’s why I had to let him go. Because I knew if he did it to me I’d be a wreck for years and years. And I couldn’t handle losing the person I loved because they no longer loved me. I had to end it so I was the one who knew when it would hurt most.
But I was so wrong.”